Share the Love

Am I the only one in the world asking this question...the one question that comes to mind every holiday, every other weekend, every time Wyatt leaves to spend time with his mother...“How do you share the one thing you cherish most with the one person you care for the least?”

Think about it. If youre not divorced or have never been in a divorced family the question probably breezes right through your head. So give it some thought. It’s not easy. I hate it. But it’s not about me and it’s not about my ex. It’s about Wyatt. It’s his life. To deprive him completely of a relationship with his mother - even if she’s not the best - isn’t right, especially at Christmas. I’ll let him judge her on his own someday. For now I thank God for what he has given me, for the smiles I received from Wyatt as he opened his gifts and for making me a better person, a better father.

I’ll keep busy today and for the rest of the week. The music is turned up to break the ear piercing sound of silence. The phone will ring unanswered because I’d rather not be bothered and I will tend to the chores I have put off for sometime.
On a day that’s meant for family and friends… I’ll spend mine alone.


“I BOWED MY HEAD AND I PRAYED REAL HARD

SAID LORD PLEASE HELP ME HELP MY STUPID SELF.”
Rodney Atkins

Christmas Wishes

I’ve heard it ten times a day for the last few weeks. “Daddy, you know what I want for Christmas?” And honestly I don’t get tired of hearing it. Maybe somedayday I will, but for now it’s just pretty darn cute. He will be at his Mother’s from Christmas to New Year’s so I took a few days off work to get a little extra Wyatt time. I let him open one present a day until Christmas Eve when Santa brings the rest. That way he gets to play with some of them prior to going to his Mother’s. And yes, I’ve manage to catch his big bright smile on camera.
So for now I’m soaking up all the laughter, smiles and shouts of joy until next week when the sound of silence will lay heavy on our home. You never know just how loud silence can be until you get divorced or lose someone. I’ll keep busy and maybe get caught up on some household chores and wait patiently until Wyatt comes back home.

Merry Christmas to all!

Spoiled

Wyatt came down the hall last night some 30 minutes after going to bed and said in a pathetic sounding voice, “ I don’t feel well.” I asked what was wrong and Wyatt said,
“ My belly hurts I need some pudding.” I couldn’t help but laugh and on this particular evening caved and gave him the pudding. Wyatt isn’t a spoiled brat he’s a great kid. Well behaved, good manners and seldom gives me a hard time. But I do shower him with special gifts like pudding at 9:00 at night. It seems that as parents, we want the same thing our parents wanted - to give our kids more than we were given. I’m not rich by any means but I spent way more on Christmas toys this year than I should have or even planned to. I just want to see that big beautiful smile when he opens his gifts and I know from the years past that it’s not the cost or the number of gifts. We’ve all seen our kids play with the box the gift came in more than the gift! So why buy more than they need? As Wyatt says, “ I got no idea!” Maybe I’ll hold a few of the gifts back for his birthday and try a little harder next year - I don't know - but I know for sure I'll have the camera ready when he opens them…ready to catch that sweet smile - which is really all I want for Christmas.


When I get where I’m goin there will be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles I have carried all these years
And I’ll leave my heart wide open I will love and have no fears
When I get where I’m goin don’t cry for me down here.
Brad Paisley/ Rivers Rutherford/George Teren

Beautiful Disaster

So how did I get in this beautiful disaster of a life? Bad decisions? Picked the wrong person to marry? God’s will? Probably a little of all of them. Before my son was born, before I was married I felt like I had lived a pretty good life. Like if it all ended tomorrow I would die happy! Good lord nothing could be further from the truth now. I want to live as long as I can to see my son grow, become a man, have kids of his own. I respect life more now since I’ve been divorced and lost half of my time with my son. Lost seeing my step daughter grow up and the relationship we had. I respect and cherish what God has given me.

It shouldn’t take such drastic events in life to open ours eyes to God….but sometimes we need a little kick in the rear to set us on the straight and narrow.

I’ll live this Life until this Life won’t let me live here anymore. ( Big & Rich )